Fully Disclosed

April 17th, 2007 by

Though I don’t have a link to the video message that Britney, like, recorded, I HAVE found the full transcript of what she said. And, like, y’all? Britney is, like, totally sarcastic.

(Number of times I wanted to shoot myself in the head after reading the word “like” – 22.)

Without further ado (prepare yourself for gum-smacking and a southern drawl – you can totally hear it in your head when you’re reading this transcript.)

â€œHi! Yes, first I want to say hey to all of my fans and I canâ€™t wait for all my stuff to come out Iâ€™m really, really excited.â€

â€œAnd also I just want to say that Iâ€™m just really, really shocked at like how nice our world is because it is just so nice. Like, oh my god. Like the other day like I was sitting there and I saw all these magazines and they said I was pregnant and like itâ€™s so true. Like, America, believe everything you read because like youâ€™re smart and Iâ€™m stupid. Like, for real! Come on, yaâ€™ll!â€

â€œAnd then after that like I totally saw also on like the USA Today because always believe everything you read. It said that, you know, like, I was drinking all the time and, like, it was, like, so right. It was so true, like, oh my god.â€

â€œIt was so right and like my management totally knew what they were doing when they sent me to rehab. So right you know! And like, Iâ€™m going to cry right now because the world is so nice. Like, this lady told me she said, â€œBritney, go to the light. Go to the light and see Jesus.â€ Okay and I was like, â€œOh my god! Iâ€™m going to do it!â€ And I did and it happened! And it was just so weird, cause our world is so nice.â€

â€œSo thank you so much. Thank you so much. Thank you. Iâ€™m going to have to hire you, man. Great, thank you.â€

Britney Spears, Britney, Spears, britney-spears, celebrity, celebrities, 2007