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Fully Disclosed

April 17th, 2007 by

britney-spears-hat.jpg

Though I don’t have a link to the video message that Britney, like, recorded, I HAVE found the full transcript of what she said. And, like, y’all? Britney is, like, totally sarcastic.

(Number of times I wanted to shoot myself in the head after reading the word “like” – 22.)

Without further ado (prepare yourself for gum-smacking and a southern drawl – you can totally hear it in your head when you’re reading this transcript.)

“Hi! Yes, first I want to say hey to all of my fans and I can’t wait for all my stuff to come out I’m really, really excited.”

“And also I just want to say that I’m just really, really shocked at like how nice our world is because it is just so nice. Like, oh my god. Like the other day like I was sitting there and I saw all these magazines and they said I was pregnant and like it’s so true. Like, America, believe everything you read because like you’re smart and I’m stupid. Like, for real! Come on, ya’ll!”

“And then after that like I totally saw also on like the USA Today because always believe everything you read. It said that, you know, like, I was drinking all the time and, like, it was, like, so right. It was so true, like, oh my god.”

“It was so right and like my management totally knew what they were doing when they sent me to rehab. So right you know! And like, I’m going to cry right now because the world is so nice. Like, this lady told me she said, “Britney, go to the light. Go to the light and see Jesus.” Okay and I was like, “Oh my god! I’m going to do it!” And I did and it happened! And it was just so weird, cause our world is so nice.”

“So thank you so much. Thank you so much. Thank you. I’m going to have to hire you, man. Great, thank you.”

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